Going through my own eating disorder I know how important that I say, think and feel all positive thoughts about my body. I NEED to make sure that my little girl grows up with self-love that is built with positive thoughts, love and support from us and all her surroundings.
If you want to have a better self-love, you have to nurture your relationship with your body just as you would nurture any relationship. Treat your body as though it were a good friend. That means feeding it well, giving it the exercise it needs, keeping it away from harmful chemicals and appreciating it for what it provides: a lap for a child to sit on, or your hands to hold your loved one, and eyes that let you see your life before you.
Here are some tips that I feel that has helped me, to build my self-love:
It’s best to use a full-length mirror, first, take a good, long look at your body, resisting the urge to zero-in on body parts you dislike. Try to ignore your perceptions of fat, skinny, beautiful and ugly. Erase all the body-related chatter from your mind. Just look at your body and try to see it simply and honestly. When you feel ready, state out loud at least five nonjudgmental things about yourself. (If you have trouble getting started, simply saying “My hair is brown” works.)
Then, without skipping or dwelling on any particular body part, describe — objectively and out loud — how you look. Use color, texture, proportion, shape and symmetry, but not subjective words like “gross” or “too big.” (“I have a heart-shaped face that is slightly red across the nose and cheeks.”) If you feel ready, state five things about your appearance that you like, and what you like about them.
Trust me, this may seem like crazy talk and seem weird in the beginning. But once you get into it, it feels kind of like a conversation you’re having with yourself, and it starts to become empowering. Like anything, it is a habit you have to develop over time. It’s about learning to train yourself to see your body as it is, rather than immediately focusing on what you don’t like.
If you practice this more positive and loving perspective, you may just find yourself with a new, lifelong friend — your own body.
Some tips to help you get through self-battles, here are some situations I hear a lot:
If you: Habitually make general disses, such as, “I hate my stomach!” or “Ugh, I’m so out of shape.”
Try this: Catch yourself in the act and either re-frame the comment with constructive intent “I’m going to get out for a run!” or don’t say anything at all, and just take note of the voices in your mind.
If you: Make negative comparisons, such as, “Yeah, I might have lost a few pounds, but I’m not in my twenties anymore”
Try this: Revel in what you’re pleased about, instead: Say, “I’m glad I have been eating healthier, and I have more energy.” Leave comparisons out of the equation. You’ve got one body — appreciate it for what you have.
If you: Reject compliments “Nice legs? Ugh, I hate my legs!” or “Really? I think these pants make me look fat.” (I know, this is so me! I have the hardest time taking compliments…I will be working on this one!)
Try this: Accept compliments with a smile. Our instinct is to negate ourselves But the best answer is just a simple ‘thank you.’”
Any shift in habitual behavior presents challenges and may seem awkward at first, but the more you make self-respecting adjustments, the more automatic they become.
Yet if any of these suggestions seem really out of reach for you, or if you encounter deeper emotional issues in attempting them, consider talking with a therapist who specializes in body-image issues. Self-image problems, such as compulsive self-criticism or body dysmorphia, can lead to self-destructive, even life-threatening behaviors and should be evaluated by a professional.
Being a brand new mom of a little girl, I realize how essential it is for me to love my body and keeping my words positive about myself. It’s also great to see other ladies appreciating and even loving their bodies. It gives us permission to accept our own. So as for myself, I just want to set a good example for my daughter, so I’m making a pact with myself to not make any more negative comments about my body. Will you join me??
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