Turn That Self-Loath to Self-Love

Going through my own eating disorder I know how important that I say, think and feel all positive thoughts about my body. I NEED to make sure that my little girl grows up with self-love that is built with positive thoughts, love and support from us and all her surroundings.

 If you want to have a better self-love, you have to nurture your relationship with your body just as you would nurture any relationship. Treat your body as though it were a good friend. That means feeding it well, giving it the exercise it needs, keeping it away from harmful chemicals and appreciating it for what it provides: a lap for a child to sit on, or your hands to hold your loved one, and eyes that let you see your life before you.

 Here are some tips that I feel that has helped me, to build my self-love:

 It’s best to use a full-length mirror, first, take a good, long look at your body, resisting the urge to zero-in on body parts you dislike. Try to ignore your perceptions of fat, skinny, beautiful and ugly. Erase all the body-related chatter from your mind. Just look at your body and try to see it simply and honestly. When you feel ready, state out loud at least five nonjudgmental things about yourself. (If you have trouble getting started, simply saying “My hair is brown” works.)

 Then, without skipping or dwelling on any particular body part, describe — objectively and out loud — how you look. Use color, texture, proportion, shape and symmetry, but not subjective words like “gross” or “too big.” (“I have a heart-shaped face that is slightly red across the nose and cheeks.”) If you feel ready, state five things about your appearance that you like, and what you like about them.

 Trust me, this may seem like crazy talk and seem weird in the beginning. But once you get into it, it feels kind of like a conversation you’re having with yourself, and it starts to become empowering. Like anything, it is a habit you have to develop over time. It’s about learning to train yourself to see your body as it is, rather than immediately focusing on what you don’t like.

 If you practice this more positive and loving perspective, you may just find yourself with a new, lifelong friend — your own body.

 Some tips to help you get through self-battles, here are some situations I hear a lot:

 If you: Habitually make general disses, such as, “I hate my stomach!” or “Ugh, I’m so out of shape.”

 Try this: Catch yourself in the act and either re-frame the comment with constructive intent “I’m going to get out for a run!” or don’t say anything at all, and just take note of the voices in your mind.

 If you: Make negative comparisons, such as, “Yeah, I might have lost a few pounds, but I’m not in my twenties anymore”

 Try this: Revel in what you’re pleased about, instead: Say, “I’m glad I have been eating healthier, and I have more energy.” Leave comparisons out of the equation. You’ve got one body — appreciate it for what you have.

 If you: Reject compliments “Nice legs? Ugh, I hate my legs!” or “Really? I think these pants make me look fat.” (I know, this is so me! I have the hardest time taking compliments…I will be working on this one!)

 Try this:  Accept compliments with a smile. Our instinct is to negate ourselves But the best answer is just a simple ‘thank you.’”

 Any shift in habitual behavior presents challenges and may seem awkward at first, but the more you make self-respecting adjustments, the more automatic they become.

 Yet if any of these suggestions seem really out of reach for you, or if you encounter deeper emotional issues in attempting them, consider talking with a therapist who specializes in body-image issues. Self-image problems, such as compulsive self-criticism or body dysmorphia, can lead to self-destructive, even life-threatening behaviors and should be evaluated by a professional.

 Being a brand new mom of a little girl, I realize how essential it is for me to love my body and keeping my words positive about myself. It’s also great to see other ladies appreciating and even loving their bodies. It gives us permission to accept our own. So as for myself, I just want to set a good example for my daughter, so I’m making a pact with myself to not make any more negative comments about my body. Will you join me??

The Present, The Past, and Back to the Present

Sometimes in life you need to know where someone was before you can appreciate everything that they have done.  I am loving mother of a beautiful little girl and have married a life partner that makes me complete.  Over the past 10 years I have set goals for myself some came quick and some had trial and error before completion.  I wake up each morning with attitude to get the most out of the day and live to keep setting new goals in life. I motivate and educate people on how to live a healthier lifestyle and to make sure they understand they can accomplish any goal they set.  I am the owner of my own business that allows me to wake up and go to work and at the end of the day it doesn’t seem like work, because I am doing something I love.  The story below is something that was a life changing experience for me.  I had a wakeup call and with the support of others I was able to overcome something in life that I was really proud of. This life changing experience is now one that I changed into a positive to help pay it forward to show and educate others to live a healthier life.

 

10 years back:

 

I was sitting at a stop sign by my parents’ house, thoughts were going in and out of my head and I remember saying out loud “I completely tricked everyone” I just signed up for my 3rd gym membership. I laughed and was thinking I so sneaky “no one can tell me what to do; who you think I am, they can’t stop me from working out.” I was so pissed that i got kicked out of my gym of choice because just of the fact that I spent 3-4 hours doing cardio every day. What was the big deal?? But the gym manager and my parents didn’t think this was in my best interest to be there. Okay, now I certainly agree. During my inner body experience as I was waiting for the green light I was thinking, what am I saying? This isn’t me, part of me felt so guilty.

Well to others, maybe joining a bunch of gyms is not such big deal. But to someone who has an eating disorder it is death sentence.

At this time I dealt with anorexia nervous, and exercise bulimia. I felt at this time people were ganging up on me, and what did they know? I felt fat every day, I would hate to look at myself in the mirror I would literally see fat around my midsection, thighs, and arms. I felt I needed to work out on a daily basis, otherwise I would instantly see chubbiness on myself. These thoughts were on a second, minute, hour and daily basis. I had the haunt of ED (that is what I call the eating disorder) in my brain, and he wasn’t ready to check out. ED started coming around when I got some awful news that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (now 12 year survivor!). I decided at that time I needed to get healthy, so I started eating better and slowly started to exercise. That was something that I could do to control the situation. I need to be in control of situations, that is my thing and with no control over the big C. I felt I needed to control myself.

As soon as I dropped weight at first I got a lot of compliments. I went from 128 to 123, so I though well maybe another 5 pound loss I would look even better. People didn’t realize with an eating disorder that when you give comments like “You look so skinny,” or “You don’t need to work out, you look skinny,” or “Wow you can work out of a long time.” It makes the person having an eating disorder adding more fuel to their fire…and 29 pounds later I was at my lowest 99 pounds and way out of control.

 At this point my family just buried my little cousin and my cousins father came up to me and said “you need to get help, I don’t want to burry you next. That was a wakeup call, I needed help and honestly needed someone to help me…I was exhausted. I never did thank my uncle Pete for stirring me in the right direction. So thank you Pete, you saved me.  ED was with me for 3 years, than I finally got enough self-confidence to kick out. ED will often check in to challenge me, but I now have the power to change my mind.

 This is my story in a short nutshell kind-a-way, of where I started my life with the wrong way of the health and fitness to my new take on caring for yourself, by eating clean, working out the right way, inspiring yourself, and ways to keep yourself and family healthy with recipes, fitness tips, and products I love.

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